


There's a Virgin in my Bed

by krispy_kream



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-15
Updated: 2011-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:16:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krispy_kream/pseuds/krispy_kream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a virgin in my bed. She's taking off her dress. And I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.<br/>Dave/Jade illustrated fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Virgin in my Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Opening illustration by http://twispicalstephen.tumblr.com/  
> All subsequent illustrations by myself.

[   
](http://twispicalstephen.tumblr.com/)

You and Jade have been living together for close to half a year now, but there has never been anything... promiscuous about your living habits. Never mind the fact that the two of you have been dating basically since you were kids playing a stupid universe shattering game. Jade wasn't brought up in the most socially adept fashion so the two of you have sort of been playing your relationship by ear. You don't mind, shits more entertaining than Terezi in a pile of red chalk and neither of you want for much physically.

Alright, fine, that's a lie, but one look at Jade's face and your determination to do much more than kiss flies out the window. But if she's going to start pulling crap like this, maybe she's not as innocent as you thought.

She's sitting in the center of your bed, her feet tucked under her and her back to the door. She has to know you're there, you made tons of noise coming in and yet there she is, slowly removing the sun dress she made out of a drawing in her pictionary modus and that vase of sunflowers you guys had for a time. You like that dress, it looks good on her, but you had honestly never thought about how easy the thing was to take _off_.

She's got her hair all pulled over one shoulder and when the zipper is fully open her entire back is exposed to you. You can see the contours of her spine and shoulder blades, all elegant angles on ivory skin. She lets the straps fall free of her shoulders, exposing her breasts and okay, no, you can't handle this.

The grocery bag you have in your hand falls to the ground and you hastily reach out to grab her shoulder.

"J-jade, hold up."

"Oh!" Jade practically jumps when you touch her, pulling her arms close to hold the front of her dress up above her breasts again. She looks up at you with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?” you manage to ask after a short pause.

"Uh..." She glances to the side before looking up at you with a small, sheepish smile. "This went a lot better in my head when I wasn't thinking about it."

You stare at her, not sure you're actually comprehending what she just said. "Are you-are you fucking kidding me?" you sputter. "This is not the kind of thing you don't think about. Easily the dumbest stunt I've seen you pull Harley, I'm serious."

"What about the time I made that scary squiddle that looked like-"

"No, this is worse."

She drops her gaze and her shoulders sag. Her mouth twists into a pout like she's just come across a particularly difficult math problem and, goddamnit, now look what you did.

You breath a heavy sigh and sit next to her on the bed. "What fun is it if I'm not the one who gets to take off this dress," you mutter, carefully zipping up the back of her dress.

She keeps her arms pulled close and looks at you again. Her pout has gone a little funny, like she's trying to make fun of you or maybe she thinks it will make you regret stopping her which would be down right hilarious.

You shove her lips with your thumb to put them back to normal. "Stop that. Now tell me what the hell this is about."

Jade starts running her fingers through her hair which is still pulled over her shoulder in front of her.

"Well, I don't know," she says. "We've been living together for a while now. It just seemed like the thing to do."

You roll your eyes behind your shades. "No. No, this is not a thing you just do because. This isn't school. It's not taxes. It's not some creeper drone bug collecting DNA for the high grub bitch. Here you go, mssr. drone, one bucket of matesprit slurry as ordered."

Jade giggles. "I wasn't thinking of it like any of that."

"Well, it'd be pretty acceptable if you thought of it like school. You're fucking in love with the place."

"Shut up, Dave. School is fun."

She shifts her weight so that she's not sitting on top of her feet anymore and presses her shoulder into yours. Her hand finds yours and your fingers weave together.

"It was just... something that was mentioned when I was talking to John and Rose about what to get you for your birthday. And John mentioned that it's what every guy wants and Rose talked to me about how that kind of thing is important in a relationship so it just sort of... Made sense."

"Fuckin' Egbert," you mutter. Then, with stronger conviction, "fuckin' _Lalonde_. I'm going to have a couple words, you're not allowed to talk to them anymore."

"No, don't! We talk about it every year, I need them!"

"So, what, you thought you'd just spring this shit on me without bringing it up first? Not even gonna bother to test the waters, just dive right the fuck in?"

Jade squirms beside you. "Well, they both made it sound like you'd be pretty okay with it..."

"Don't think I don't want to," you say. You shift so that you're facing her, you hands still clasped. "Believe me, guys have a pretty consistent priority on this kind of thing. It'd be a lie if I said I haven't considered it, because I have and I intend to. Eventually. When all parties are on board and ready. This is pretty heavy shit you're starting here, you don't just rush in when it's with someone you really care about. It's a real game changer."

Jade stares at you for a long moment before a wide smile spreads across her lips. "I... Gosh Dave. I didn't realize you thought so much of me."

You let the corners of your mouth turn upwards a fraction. "I always have."

Jade turns herself to face you as well and she takes your hand in both of hers. She stares at the mess of fingers between you and her smile slowly grows into the one of the stupidest grins you've ever seen."

You lift your free hand to brush her hair from her cheek and lean in to kiss her.

"Oh!" She shouts suddenly, her head snapping up and stopping you in your tracks. "I was going to make you a cake!"

You let your hand fall to your lap. Guess you don't get to kiss her.

"Made me go to the store alone on my birthday, I damn well better get a cake," you say.

p>Jade slides off the bed and holds out her hands like you need help getting up. "Hehe, you were going to get sex, but I guess you don't want it."

You take her hand anyway. "I didn't say that."

\---  
  
\---

There's a light coat of flour covering both of you and your fingers are a little sticky from when you were stealing tastes of the cake batter but you are hardly concerned with cleanliness at the moment. As soon as Jade put the cake in the oven you took her hand and kissed her like you'd been meaning to for the last twenty minutes. When you pulled apart she smiled at you and kissed you again. At that point... Well. Let's just say you end up taking her back to your room.

She sits down on the mattress and you lean over to follow her, your lips still locked. Her arms wrap around your neck to pull you down and you reach behind her to undo the zipper of her dress yourself before she falls to her back. You bring your hands over her shoulder and down her arms to pull the straps of her dress away from her as much as they will with her arms up the way that they are. Jade hums against your mouth as you bring your knee between her legs, pushing up her dress though neither of you are paying attention. She takes her arms down from around your neck, sliding her hands across your chest and leaving her dress free to fall away from her. You let one of your hands wander to her side, sneaking it up under the fabric toward her breast.

From the kitchen, you hear the oven buzz.

Jade breaks away immediately. "Oh! The cake is done!"

She rolls out from under you and scampers back toward the kitchen, trying and failing to put her dress back on. You drop your head to the now empty mattress and release a loud sigh. You roll off the bed much like Jade had and when you catch up with her you do up the zipper for her.

"I am about ready to throw this damn cake out the window," you say as Jade leans down to pull the pan out, your hand still at the small of her back. "I think I'm starting to understand John's issues with the batter witch."

Jade turns and looks up at you, horrified, with the cake in her ovenmitted hands. "After I worked so hard to make it for you?"

"No, I'm not actually gonna throw it out. It's made out of love and sugar, I wouldn't throw that shit out in a hundred years."

Jade actually smirks and turns back to getting the cake out of the pan.

You step back and lean against the counter, crossing your arms over your chest. Jade's hair is still mused from laying on it and part of the bottom of her dress is folded up. And yet she moves as if you hadn't almost had your hands down her pants.

"For the record, Harley, that is how you properly fucking seduce someone," you say after a moment.

Jade turns from her frosting to look at you. "Huh? We weren't doing anything."

"We were just... Never mind, just decorate the fucking cake."

Later, Jade falls asleep to the movie you put on and your birthday sex is no where in sight. Oh well, at least the cake was good.


End file.
